This one goes out to @Alice_X0 from Guys Boys and Men.
And @C_T_S from 52 First Dates who – like me – would not believe that this gift was not a tiny bit dirty.
Well… look at it! We were all up an award in the Sex and Relationships category. Emphasis on the Sex. You seriously cannot blame us for hoping it would turn out to need batteries.
Luckily, Twinkle (flatmate and makeup artiste extraordinaire) took a moment before her mental zillion mile run this morning to show me what the entire contents of my goody bag did.
Which is how I learned this:
Witness, the little valvey holey thing at the bottom of the not-vibrator.
Now, witness the capless perfume pot (ignore Ritzi’s chipped nail polish). Stay tuned for the technical bit.
Right then. If this doesn’t give you ideas I will eat my new bobble hat —>
Place phallus on top of un-capped perfume bottle. Then (I kid you not) pump the thing up and down until you build up a respectable amount of… perfume… in the handy see-through tube.
Pop back into cute little swirly patterned case and pop in your handbag for the days when you can’t handle lugging around an enormous bottle complete with impractical rubber flower on the top. Job done.
Come on now Cosmo. You put this in the goody bag just for me, didn’t you?
RitziCx
PS – oh yeah, you can totally buy your own from Travalo.com. Or Ann Summers I imagine.
Hell yeah lady! I must say that’s a fine choice of perfume bottle. I think Cosmo did put this in just for us. Can’t wait to get my pump action on the go and try it out.
Thanks for the tutorial lady, but please don’t go beauty on me! I need your man bingo posts to keep me entertained.
Ooh ooh ooooooooh! I followed your tutorial, and I now have a lovely fully-replenished atomiser in my handbag. So now I can official do plane travel with scent! Oh joy, oh rapture! It’s GENIUS!
But I echo Alice – please don’t go all beauty on us. There are enough girls out there writing about liking cosmetics to try and bag freebies. If only writing about men got us more? Hang on a minute…is that the sound of a plan hatching? I may ahve to stage an online recruitment drive!
‘ONLY EVER TUTORIAL I WILL EVER DO’ use your eyes ladies! No booze in dem dere cocktails so no excuse!
And OMG, do you think PR’s might start contacting us and offering us dates?!?!?!?!