Category Archives: Ritzi’s Reviews

Avenge Vulture Attack – RENEW

My awesome friend Nora, sometimes known as Ella, is in this very rock n roll band called Avenge Vulture Attack.

I don’t really know why they’re called that. I’m not down with the kids enough to get these things.

Anyway, AVA have been going on for flippin ages about their upcoming EP launch for ‘RENEW’ but I was beginning to wonder if it was ever actually going to happen. It’s been potentially planned for a nightclub, the South Bank, a boxing ring, and finally… Southwark Skatepark. Where it actually happened.

Nora told me to get there around 8ish, and when I inquired as to where exactly ‘there’ was, she told me all I had to do was get off at London Bridge and ‘follow the arrows’.

Avenge Vulture Attack arrowImpressed as I was with AVA’s ingenuity and ability to graffiti London Bridge and it’s surrounding area without getting arrested, I was foolishly tottering along in wedges (they completed my very rock n roll ensemble of cut of denims, over-sized black t-shirt and excessive beads. Honest) and once I’d actually found the arrows, I counted about 40 of the bloody things on my way to the skatepark.

My ex, TVboy, was a skater. I do not have happy memories of skateparks. However, in this case, I dared to venture past the half pipe and discovered a mine of rock n roll wonderment. Dawson’s Creek and her fellow green yankydoodles showed up all wide eyed and in awe of the gritty London landscape, and bopped along in the background while the rest of us came up with a series of ingenious ways  to sneak in alcohol. I felt like I was fifteen again – but better at it.

Avenge Vulture AttackHere’s a lovely pic of Avenge Vulture Attack being awesome against the backdrop of some bespoke graffiti.

They are so damn cool.

And I got to play with spray paint. Rock n roll.

I can’t really review ‘Renew’ on account of the fact that I am pretty biased about these guys, but I will say that if they don’t get signed from it, it’s a crime against music. They guys are all fantastic musicians, the vocals are mind blowing and the tunes get stuck in your head for weeks. I’m still singing them now. Seriously. People on this train are giving me weird looks.

Today’s blog post was sponsored by the letters A, V and A. If you would like to know more about these folks, check out their myspace, have a listen on spotify (Heartbreak Hotel will change your life), or better yet – DOWNLOAD their new EP ‘RENEW’ right now. Go. Go on. We’ll still be here.

RitziCx

The Day They Let Ritzi Into A Film Premiere…

Honestly, I get everywhere.

Ritzi Cortez at Kung Fu Panda 2

The nice folk at Paramount recently had a crisis of sensibility and invited me to the UK premiere of Kung Fu Panda 2. Considering I had not (and still have not) seen Kung Fu Panda 1, I was off to a good start.

‘Help!’ I beseeched twitter. ‘What is the plot of Kung Fu Panda 1?’

The reply that popped into my inbox is a prime example of why my twitter followers are bloody brilliant.

‘There’s a panda. He does Kung Fu and eats a lot of chinese food. And he says awesome a lot. Then he saves the day.’

Right o, Kung Fu Panda 101… complete!

With Eton Boy as my date, I rocked up to Westfields (apparently they do film premieres in shopping malls these days – who knew?) in my topshop finery (it was a Sunday afternoon after all) and attempted to avoid the shops and head straight for the – and I quote – ‘Pandamonium’.

I failed miserably. I bought two bikinis and a maxi dress. Ah well.

Jack Black was there being all hilarious, and let me tell you he is teeny tiny. Yet wide of girth. But weirdly… I still would. Here he is demonstrating some key Kung Fu moves…

Jack Black doing some Kung Fu

Ritzi’s Review of Kung Fu Panda 2:

I thought I would be at a major disadvantage having not seen the first film, but it appears the general knowledge that the focal character is a giant panda who does Kung Fu is enough to keep you going. Cue some artsy animation of Chinese style cut outs for the expositional opening sequence, wherein one discovers that Peacocks, are in fact, evil raving psychopaths with a penchant for genocide.

Only Jack Black could endear the character of a big fat panda so well. Honestly, he’s completely lovable – particularly at the moment where he reveals to his fellow Kung Fu Furious Five mates that his dad might not actually be his dad. Quickly followed by deadpan Angelina Jolie’s best line;

‘Your dad… the goose?’

No kidding Panda face.

Gary Oldman genuinely terrifies me, much as I want to have rampant sex with his voice every single day and twice on Sundays. He plays a maniacal white peacock who is so deliciously evil it gave me goosebumps. Or peacock bumps. Or whatever. But he’s hilarious with it also.

The 3D is brilliant. I’m not usually a 3D kind of gal – it doesn’t generally do that much for me – but when you’re five rows from the front and a crazed peacock is pointing a razor sharp tail feather in your face, you shuffle back a lil bit.

So in short, I’m saying if you’re umming and ahhing at the cinema, go and have a giggle at Kung Fu Panda 2. It’s heartwarming and hilarious, and it has Gary Oldman as an evil peacock (did I mention that?).

Gary Oldman as an evil peacock

Skadoosh and all that.

RitziCx

Ritzi’s Reviews : Mrs Warren’s Profession, The Comedy

MWP

I have to admit I had absolutely no idea what this play was about until I’d seen it – the words ‘Felicity’ and ‘Kendal’ were enough to pique my interest when the usual flurry of comps arrived in my office a couple of days ago.

From the marketing I managed to assertain that it was a period piece, but other than that I went into it wholly open minded and as a result thoroughly enjoyed it – it’s nice when you have no preconceptions or expectations of a play, that was you just get to discover it for what it is.

So, here follows meine review :

Mrs Warren’s Profession

Mrs Warren is like the Victorian Belle Du Jour, though not quite as bitter.

If you need a hefty dose of girl power drama and corsets, I’d highly recommend Mrs Warren’s Profession. Starring Felicity Kendal in the title role, and Lucy Briggs-Owen as her quick minded daughter Vivie, this play had me on the verge of tears at the same time as splitting my sides with laughter. Mrs Warren, a notoriously absent mother and successful business woman, returns to England in a vain attempt to obtain a relationship with her daughter, only to find that her little girl has not only grown up, but settled into a way of life very different to that which her mother had intended for her.

I was a tad unsure of Briggs-Owen at first, because she seemed almost too contempory for her surroundings, but I soon warmed to her once the story really kicked off. She is a character who knows exactly what she wants from life, and is certain about absolutely everything except her mother. Of Mrs Warren and her profession Vivie knows next to nothing, and while the modern thinking audience twig within the first few moments (that and we’d just read about Victorian prostitution and feminism in the programme) the rest of the characters take their own sweet time to work it out. This might have something to do with the fact that due to the time it was written (1894) the actual terms of ‘the profession’ are not ever specified, but obviously implied with coy looks and double entendre.

Banned for almost 30 years after it was written, it isn’t hard to see why. It’s cheeky and just a little bit naughty, and quite happily justifies the business of prositution. Mrs Warren is unashamed of the success she has made for herself and is proud of her profession, and after hearing her reasons as to why she turned to it when faced with poverty I am inclined to agree with her. The fact that she’s played by Felicity Kendal may also help – I find it almost impossible to disagree with that woman.

It’s a fine cast; David Yelland, Eric Carte, Mark Tandy and Max Bennett join Kendal and Briggs-Owen and are all rather brilliant at bringing tongue-in-cheek victorian humour to the stage but still make it feel modern and fresh as though it were a slightly risque BBC period drama.

The relationship between Mrs Warren and Vivie is wonderful yet heartbreaking at the same time. Such a vivacious character can surely never hope to easily co-exist with the moral thinker that is her daughter, but it is obvious they both wish it were not so. An honest and heartwarmingly funny depiction of a quite tragic situation, it will make you laugh and (almost) cry, but the moral questions raised are not so dated that they do not ring true in our own modern society. Mrs Warren is, at times, more forward thinking and practical than any one of us, but all that gumption comes at a price.

Running until the 19th of June at The Comedy Theatre near Picadilly Circus in London.

RitziCx

Also, to kill some time between the office and the theatre, we went to Ed’s Diner and I’m sorry to say, my diet failed. Spectacularly. I had an Oreo Cookie Shake and a bowl of onion rings… shameful! I also annoyed the crap out of people by hogging the jukebox and playing Elvis songs constantly until we had to leave.

Long live the King! And the Kendal :)

x

Ritzi’s Reviews : We Are One

Mark Rylance

Take a look at this lovely bloke. If you don’t know who he is, I’m sure you will pretty darn soon because he’s one of the greatest actors of his generation and the whole world is catching on.

This is Mark Rylance, who – until recently – was playing the role of Johnny ‘Rooster’ Byron in Jez Butterworth’s frickin incredible play; Jerusalem.

Now, most actors will spend their one day off in a pub somewhere, or in bed, or in front of the TV… but not our Mark. Oh no, instead, he decided to get a bunch of his ‘close friends’ together to do a little evening of poetry. Tribal poetry, to be precise.

And those friends? Oh, probably no one you’d know… Colin Firth, Julie Christie, Mackenzie Crook, Juliet Stevenson, Edward Fox, Amelia Fox, Imelda Staunton, Derek Jacobi, Gillian Anderson… the list goes on.

So did I rock up to the Apollo to watch this evening of tribal poetry? You bet your knickers I did! Only to discover, much to my chagrin, that COLIN FIRTH (love of my life… one of many) was stuck in America because of the Ashcloud (curse you Ashcloud!) so I could not moon over Darcy. Curses!

But, regardly of Colin’s disappointing absence – FYI it was also quite funny to see people who’d bought their tickets pretending to be charitable try feign indifference when Colin Firth didn’t walk out on stage – it was actually a very interesting evening.

As for Tribal Poetry… well, I still don’t know too much about it, but I did learn a heck of a lot about tribal people. Essentially, the moral of the story is, they rock. The evening seemed to be mainly based around a book of poetry called ‘We Are One’ which is well worth a look. I succumbed and bought one after I felt bad with my free ticket in my back pocket after Mark Rylance had thanked everyone for forking out so much to help Survival International. I also bought some raffle tickets. Get me!

‘The Factory’ is a youth performing arts scheme, who made up the chorus for the evening. I’m sorry but no matter how much theatre I see, I am never going to come round the idea of random people speaking over each other and interpreting text in any other way than just bloody well saying the damn words. However, when ‘The Factory’ shut the hell up, some high class poetry reading brought down the house.

Imelda Staunton was one highlight; her reading of Oren Lyons’ ‘We went to Geneva’ was beautiful, and she commanded the room so well that I even forgot what the flipping Factory were up to. Hugh Brody broadened our language horizons with his own prose; ‘Inuit words for snow’ and ‘The sound of human beings’ which made me blush at my feeble attempts at high school french when there are so many thousands of incredible languages in the world that are dying out every day because so few people speak them any more. Did you know there are 150 sounds that a human being can make, and in English we only use 50 of them? Apparently most Europeans only use about 30, which made me damn proud to be British, but the awesome tribal bloke in the little video was yakking and clicking away using 130 different sounds. Quite frankly, I regretted thousands of pounds worth of voice coach training there and then.

Which leads me onto Derek Jacobi who is – in actual fact – a total legend. He gets lead out onto the Jerusalem stage by Mackenzie Crook (bless his quirky heart) and perches on a stool and simple sits and reads; ‘Every part of this soil is sacred’ by Chief Seattle, Suquamish. Then in the second half, he stood and read ‘Lame Deer becomes a man’ by Lame Deer, Lakota, and the auditorium fell so quiet if he hadn’t been speaking you could have heard a pin drop. At the end, the audience rose as one and gave the first applause of the evening (which I think was supposed to flow seemlessly from one poem to another – not gonna happen with these greats on your stage Rylance!).

After that the pace picked up; Zoe Wanamaker with her voice like caramel truffles popped up prior to her own upcoming run in All My Sons, awesome as always, Mark Rylance gave a damn good speech about Survival International and why we should all give them our pennies, Mackenzie Crook hit a home run with his final poem and THEN…

BRUCE FRICKIN DICKENSON FROM IRON MAIDEN (along with some other blokes; Jon Lord, Ian Paice, William Lyons and Arngeir Hauksson) CAME OUT ON STAGE AND SUNG ‘JERUSALEM’ WHILE BANGING A CRAZY LOOKING TRIBAL DRUM!

It does not get better than that my friends.

I should add now that this evening took place on what might just have been the hottest day of the year so far, and Irish and I had been in Kensington Gardens all day, picnicing, sunbathing and dipping our feet in the fountain. Dressed in sundresses and beads, with our tie-died picnic blanket around our shoulders, we could not have chosen a more apt ending to our day.

So basically, I’m thinking of starting my own tribe and having a language with clicks in it. Not sure if it’ll catch on but hey. If you fancy checking out a bit more of Survival International, why not follow this handy link to their website?

http://www.survivalinternational.org/

Okies folks, I’m off to watch Enron’s matinee. More blogging this evening including (finally) the VIENNA blogs! Haha, in your FACE Ashcloud! You did not bring me down!

Ciao

RitziCx

Let The Sun Shine In Everybody!

Wow wow wow!

Life has not stopped lately, in fact, I’m currently mushing together my weekend posts into this one and will have to tell you about the madness of my working day today, tomorrow! It’s all a bit crazy!

First things first everyone… HAIR opened in the Gielgud this week. I’m not even going to attempt to review the magic. Let’s put it this way – I was the teenager with the purple braided hair down to her waist, with tie-died trousers and stars on her face. Seeing Hair on stage was something I never thought would happen – and even if it did happen I was convinced that the true freedom of the sixties was so well and truly over that no one would be able to recreate it. I am glad to report: I was very wrong.

HAIR

The LIFE this show has is contagious! Everybody laughs and cheers and cries together. Everybody hugs a hippie if they get too close. EVERYBODY WANTS TO GET THEIR HANDS ON GEORGE BERGER. Including me. And I did.

Look at him… sooooooooo frickin manly and hairy! Yes please, Berger. Yes, please.

Berger

If I were you I’d right click that little beauty and save it for later.

I went to see it on Friday evening with Sneezy Kate and we went out for some drinks after (before our weekend of fun which I’ll come to in a sec) and then Irish and I went AGAIN tonight and the moment the safety rails hit the steps we were ON THAT STAGE and dancing with the gorgeous hippies for the three encores. It was amazing. We skipped through Chinatown afterwards singing and twirling the flowers that had been stuffed into our clothes while we danced!

On Saturday Sneezy and I headed up to Camden for some market style fun, and let me tell you, the stables market that was supposed to be closing? Definitely not closed! In fact, they’ve refurbished it, given it some more amazing shops and turned it into a magical magical place. I bought purple flowered harem pants. I blame a certain hippie… We also went for a quick pint in the Hawley Arms which has recovered rather well. Good cider, no Winehouse. Jolly good!

So Sunday comes, I pop over to Clapham to see Irish, and we spent the day wandering the common, drinking coffee at Schmidts, shopping on Northcote Road and drinking tea in her flat.

Isn’t it amazing how the moment the sun shines everything just get’s awesome? As Irish and I drank frappes and shared a slice of rocky road on Sunday afternoon, we looked up (from the corner of the little coffee garden we were in) and saw a girl sat on her roof terrace, painting. How frickin cool is that???

Even the stress of my working day hasn’t let clouds cross my blue blue skies! I’m so high on the hippie love right now that I’m going to have to leave the showbiz stuff til tomorrow. Today included photoshoot (with lurvely male model) and conference call with three different countries. Cripes.

Night folks!

RitziCx

Ritzi’s Reviews : Shirley Valentine at the Chocolate Factory

I always jump at the chance to go to the Chocolate Factory. It is, without a doubt, my favourite theatre in the whole of London. It’s at London Bridge, so I can get home in 15 minutes, it’s only 150 seats so wherever you sit you have a great seat, and it always smells faintly of… you guessed it, chocolate.

So I popped along to see the first part of the Willy Russell season:

RITZI’S REVIEWS : SHIRLEY VALENTINE : THE MENIER CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Some may say that Meera Syal was a strange choice to play Shirley – perhaps it might be seen as controversial casting, like Debbie Allen’s all black Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but from the very moment Syal appeared on stage she slotted into the role so naturally that you might think it had been written for her.

I’m not generally the biggest fan of Northern Belt playwrights; while I can appreciate Russell and his contempory Jim Cartwright, the Northern plight is something that I’ve never really been able to relate to. Because of this, I found it hard to feel much sympathy for Shirley, which is the fault of the play in general, not this production! She’s fallen out of love with her husband who treats her badly, her kids are grown up, she’s bored and lonely… just leave, woman! But of course, it isn’t 2010, and it’s more complicated than that.

Or is it?

The first act’s dialogue pretty much passed me by. Why? Well, I shall tell you. It wasn’t the fact that Syal’s accent slipped from time to time, of the fact that she occasionally dropped her lines, oh no. In fact, I spent most of the first half completely engrosed in the journey of the food.

As a quirky twist, the director (Glen Walford) had Syal preparing the meal of chips and eggs on stage. She peeled and chopped the potatoes, dried them, fried them, and then fried some eggs in a pan. A nice idea, but so distracting! She would chop up maybe three chips and then get distracted, or go to put something in the bin and then go off on a tangent, and the whole time I just wanted her to finish cutting up the damn potatoes and tell me about her marriage afterwards!

The second half, complete with impressive set change, was much better. Her character was much more likeable, and without the distraction of potatoes, the dialogue flowed like a dream.

Shirley Valentine is running as part of the Willy Russell season until the 8th of May at the Menier, alongside a new production of Educating Rita starring Larry Lamb and Laura Dos Santos in the title role. Quite frankly, the schedule completely confuses me, but the link below should connect you to the official website;

http://www.menierchocolatefactory.com/pages/about_us/willy_russell_season_schedule

The first major revivals for both of these plays since the eighties, they are well worth a watch.

RitziCx

ps, the chips looked bloody good though.

I Got Published In The Blog Paper Today… Awesomeness

I got published in this edition of theblogpaper!

maaike

WITCH-CRAFT-WO-MAN-SHIP : MAAIKE MEKKING A/W COLLECTION 2010

First of all I have to admit that I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to fashion shows. Call me crazy, but if I’m being presented with an entire collection, the thing I want to see first and foremost are the clothes. I’d like them to be on a model if possible, so I can see how they’d look on me (if I didn’t eat for a year), and if the model could walk up and down a bit so I can see how the clothes move that’d be just grand. Very few of my boxes were ticked at the Maaike Mekking presentation.

That said, it was a very intriguing performance. I use this word because it was more akin to a piece of performance art than an actual fashion show. Allow me to set the scene:

A Soho warehouse. Sirens blaring in the background. An eerie soundtrack courtesy of Anastasia Freygang and Joseph Xorto. A model, clad in a nude/black hand-stencilled bodysuit, lingers in front of a mirror, deciding which item of crumpled clothing she would like to wear. Clothes are everywhere; some on hangers, some littering the floor. The model (Mokik Gabriela Dorniak), lost in her own world, tries on the clothes one at a time, all the while contemplating her own identity.

Transition, duality and nostalgia are the key words Maaike Mekking uses to describe the collection. The clothing does have an inescapable vintage feel about it; a lot of the fabrics are course in texture, and it’s almost as if you are viewing the whole scene through a sepia lens. A sand coloured skirt was one of the first pieces to really stand out, as the model tried it on again and again, eventually turning it inside out. A sheer, floor-length dress created an ethereal silhouette, the dramatic stencil-printed pattern of her body suit only slightly muted underneath. A fantastic pair of parachute pants with a matching jacket made a welcome appearance, their heavy, masculine quality juxtaposed when the model jumped into the air a few times, landing lightly and watching the fabric billow around her. This playful, almost childlike theme of innocence continued throughout, so it was sort of endearing when the poor girl got stuck inside her trousers and had to wriggle out of them later on, losing only a tiny bit of decorum.

The collection is made up of natural shades; greys, browns and nudes, with the odd piece of faded denim and black detailing in zips and prints. It’s very wearable, as the model proves, but the real gems of the collection are the simplest pieces. A really beautiful cream chiffon blouse drew my attention, even when it merely hung there, gently catching in the breeze whenever the door opened. A pale, structured shift dress made an appearance toward the end, and I found myself musing about the perfect shoes to pair with it.

A sense of higher purpose and deep meaning is clearly something that Mekking communicates through her designs. Tania Leshkina’s direction is inspired, and very obviously reflects the theme of the collection on display, but the sense of performance ran the risk at times of becoming more important than the clothing itself. Influences of the iconic designers Mekking has worked for, such as Alexander McQueen and Alberta Ferretti, are evident, and her designs eye catching and unique enough to merit their own spotlight. Her ‘palatable edginess’ is just that – it’s quirky and kooky at times, but not so much so that it becomes unwearable. This is definitely a designer to keep on your radar.

I got published in this edition of theblogpaper!

RitziCx

ps: Not my usual sordidness, but apparently publication types like it when I tone the Ritzi down a bit… they didn’t like my Alice review quite so much!

pps: What I really wanted to say was; ‘Um, this is the most random shit I’ve ever seen. And can you quit the heavy breathing over the mic? You’d make more money doing that over the phone love.’ But I didn’t. So it’s fine.

Ritzi’s Reviews : Love Never Dies, Adelphi

LND

I’m thinking this may be one of the few friendly reviews that come out today… because (as with the original Phantom) the critics sure to like to diss Lord Lloyd Webber. Don’t get me wrong, he creeps me out too with his half melted face, but the dude sure can write a pretty tune.

Love Never Dies continues the story of Phantom of the Opera, and is set 10 years later in Manhattan (Coney Island to be precise) where the Phantom (along with Madame and Meg Giry) has set up shop for a while.

The beginning, it has to be said, is a bit dreary. And – if you pay attention – it basically ruins the end for you. Not the best way to start! But once Madame Giry and Fleck (played by Niamh Perry off of that Nancy show… well of course she needs a bit of extra spotlight time, right? She’s off the telly box) bugger off, the spectacle begins. Some pretty clever effects come into play, horses made of smoke, contorting ensemble carnies, and projections that actually enhance the disappointingly modest scenery (so much better than the hideous projections fron Woman in White a few years back… let’s ignore that one) and we are introduced to Phantasma. This place has been billed as being the ‘freak show’ that the Phantom supposedly has dominion over, but it’s sort of lacking in freaks. It’s more got more of a vaudeville feel, which I’m not so sure of.

Anyway, down to business. After a slow start, it gets much better. The Phantom, played by Ramin Karimloo, is hot, despite the hideous disfigurement. I basically want to have sex with his voice. Sierra Boggess’s Christine is convincingly older and wiser than her original whiny self, and is a bit more likeable for it. Meg Giry is annoying, but she always was. Raoul, lovely, gorgeous Raoul… has become a drunk and gambled all their money away, silly man. Gustave, the child with the questionable parentage, has a lovely voice and acts his little socks off (although some of his direction seemed a bit lacklustre) but I always think resting the majority of the plot on the shoulders of a child actor is a bit risky. (*cough* Oliver! *cough*)

It’s definitely a marmite show, you love it or you hate it. There are some great songs, there are some not so great songs. There are some brilliant moments of homage to the original, and a singing chandelier made of shrunken heads. At the end of the day, sequels rarely match up to the original, but to all those who doubt the show’s longevity, cast your minds back to the time when the original Phantom came out. Reports were the same, opinions divided, and look where it is now.

Love Never Dies : The Adelphi Theatre, London.

RitziCx

And now for a little moan – this morning I saw two ‘anonymous theatre bloggers’ being interviewed on the subject of the show. For starters, they were pretty shit at being anonymous. They had Phantom masks on, but they spoke with the half of their face that wasn’t covered to the camera. Silly men. Also, their main criticism of the show was the ‘who’s the daddy’ question and how it didn’t make sense because there was no point in the original Phantom where Christine and the hot disfigured one could sneak off and do the dirty.

Ahem, listen up stupid anonymous theatre bloggers, there is a whole song about her going back to find him and shagging him then. Fools.

Okay that’s that done! Actual amusing blog about my job interview yesterday to follow!

x

Waiting For Godot… Or Cocktails. Whatever.

Happy Friday!

I am so ridiculously glad it’s Friday it’s untrue. To celebrate, I just did a Patisserie Valerie run and picked up Friday treats for my office. We all needed the sugar/carbs this week!

I’m in a bit of a state because I went to watch a bit of Beckett last night. Bear with me a sec while I include the obligatory bit of critiquey luvvie stuff:

Ritzi’s Reviews : Waiting For Godot : Theatre Royal, Haymarket

godot

I know, I know, I know. I should have seen this ages ago… when Patrick Stewart was in it too… but for some crazy reason I only saw it yesterday. Here are my thoughts.

Well, as with any Beckett, it was very long. And wordy. And post-apocolyptic. I mean, so long as you know what you’re getting yourself into it’s not so bad, but any poor unsuspecting non-theatrical type who just wants to see Gandalf on stage should probably stay away.

The story revolves around two characters, Vladimir (Roger Rees) and Estragon (Ian McKellen) as they wait… for a chap called Godot. They don’t really know who he is, or what he looks like, but they wait for him all the same.

Their wait is interrupted slightly by the arrival of Pozzo (Matthew Kelly) and his ancient slave Lucky (Ronald Pickup), a couple of quite grotesque characters. Their exhange lasts for most of the first half, and once they’ve gone, Estragon (McKellen) quite rightly comments; ‘Well that passed the time’.

It does pique your interest, it does provoke ‘meaning of life’ style ponderings, it does drag on for a million years. As I said, if you buy a ticket for a Beckett play, that’s what you have to expect (cept for me cos it was free) and as a rule I generally find myself developing suicidal tendencies about twenty minutes before the end.

That said, the cast are all excellent. I’m always pleasantly surprised by Matthew Kelly as an actor, and seeing the living legend of Sir Ian McKellen on stage is always a treat. If you want to see more ‘serious’ theatre than your average jukebox musical then I suppose it’s a good one to start with since if you don’t get what’s going on you can just have a good chuckle at Ian McKellen dancing about a bit.

Okay, official reviewing is over…

Here’s how I got through it:

cocktails

Mimi and I popped into The Edge in Soho Square for some drinkies before heading over to the Haymarket, and polished off a couple of Margaritas (okay, more than a couple) between us.

While I was waiting for Mimi (who returned her ex’s xmas present and used the money to buy shoes) to show up and tell me all about her new girlfriend - girlfriend? That’s different. I was sipping my cocktail, reading some Belle Du Jour – as one does – and I glanced at the other people in my part of the bar.

OWEN FROM BEING HUMAN WAS SAT NEXT TO ME!

(For anyone who watched it… he was Annie’s fiance in series 1 who kind of killed her and everything, remember? Murderer or not, he was hot)

I spent the next five minutes enjoying the occasional moments of eye contact and smiles and trying to work out if he was raging or not (Soho Cocktail Bar after all), and then Mimi showed up and started talking about lesbian sex so I was a bit distracted.

Anyone know if ‘Owen from Being Human’ (can’t be bothered to imdb him) is a gay?

So now I’m thinking, I’ve seen George in Shuts, I saw Owen in The Edge, so next time I’d quite like to see Mitchell in my bed. That’s all I ask!

Enjoy the weekend folks!

RitziCx

Ritzi’s Reviews : Alice In Wonderland

I thought I’d post this if you guys missed it on www.theblogpaper.co.uk the other week!

Can you tell I have no work to do today? I am loving time killing… but pretending to be super busy so no one actually gives me anything to do!

RitziCx

Alice In Wonderland

TIM BURTON’S ALICE IN WONDERLAND

From Helena Bonham-Carter’s giant head to Mia Wasikowska’s inexplicable costume changes, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland is a non stop whirligig of fantasy and adventure. The best part is it doesn’t try to replace what we already know of the story of Alice. Whether you loved the books, adored the 1951 Disney animation film or both, this is not the same story. Alice, approaching her nineteenth birthday, barely remembers having the dreams that took her to Wonderland as a child. Now she must make a decision that will change her life forever – but before she can do so she is distracted by a rather familiar White Rabbit.

Australian newcomer Wosikowska makes a delightful Alice. She is headstrong and independent, and this is evident from the start, but like all Burton’s best loved protagonists she looks out of place in her environment. Though a beautiful girl, she is pale and plain in the ‘real world’, but when she finally gives chase to the White Rabbit and tumbles rather dramatically into Wonderland her true colours are revealed.

Without giving away too much of the plot, it’s painfully clear that the recent craze of post-apocalyptic story settings has even spread to the realm of fantasy. Wonderland is almost destroyed and somehow this is harder to accept than some futuristic version of our world ending up the same way. When the Mad Hatter asks Alice if she even knows what the Red Queen has done to their world, the devastation in his eyes is heartbreaking, and the chilling reality is obvious as a miniature Alice travels through the barren wasteland to find the Red Queen’s castle, only to find she must cross a dark and dangerous moat using severed heads as stepping stones. This is definitely a film for adults and teenagers who loved the story as young children, more than one for children themselves. At times it is so dark and uncomfortable I found myself forgetting that it is actually a Disney movie, and I’m surprised that Disney gave Burton as much free reign as they appear to have done. That said, I’m not complaining!

Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter, who – despite his minor bouts of schizophrenia and violent outbursts of Scottish poetry – you still fall in love with the moment he turns those digitally altered eyes on you, heads up one of the finest (mainly British) casts ever thrown together in one movie. Helena Bonham Carter makes a hilarious yet terrifying Red Queen (who is more than a little bit reminiscent of Queen Elizabeth I from Blackadder, but if you over look that she’s great), and Crispin Glover does a fine job of sucking up to her as the Knave of Hearts. Matt Lucas is adorable as both Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Stephen Fry is the creepy Cheshire Cat, Michael Sheen’s White Rabbit pops up all over the place and Barbara Windsor lends her voice to a murderous dormouse who carries around an eyeball as a battle trophy for half the story. Alan Rickman’s Sheesha smoking Caterpillar is a stroke of pure genius, and no one but Christopher Lee could voice the legendary Jabberwocky. While in the original story Alice encountered most of these characters separately, by now they have all been forced together by their unfortunate circumstances and become a tight knit band of allies. My only criticism, cast wise, would be Anne Hathaway’s White Queen. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Anne Hathaway usually, and was expecting to love her in this, and I can see the kind of etherial, ‘away with the fairies’ kind of character they were going for, but her character doesn’t quite fit the story like everyone else’s does. At a couple of points she seems to drop the dreamy act, but it isn’t consistent. At times she is quite coherent and sensible, and at others she seems to be more preoccupied with waving her hands around and gazing into the distance. Not exactly what you want after you’ve spent most of the film watching Alice try to find this woman – she’s not quite likeable enough.

The 3D is a bit unnecessary until we get into Wonderland (which apparently is actually called ‘Underland’ and we’ve been saying it wrong for years… who knew?), but once you’re there it is absolutely breathtaking. It’s visually stunning, and a bit more ‘in your face’ than Avatar and other recent 3D films, so you find yourself jumping back from low flying branches and dodging the claws of the deadly Bandersnatch more than once. That said, it’s not gimmicky in any way and actually enchances the film rather than being the main selling point. I wouldn’t say you need to see this film in 3D to love it, but it helps. You can’t often tell where the CGI ends and the live action begins, except in one moment with the Tweedles which we’ll casually overlook and instead concentrate on the pretty scenery.

Well worth a look, if only for the incredibly random dance breaks (watch it, you’ll see what I mean), I’d recommend watching it on the big screen to get the full impact of Wonderland/Underland, which is truly spectacular. Thankfully Odeon and Disney have sorted out that little tiff they had a couple of weeks ago and Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland will hit cinemas (including Odeon) on the 5th of March, 2010.