I am officially in detox hell.
Since the bitter end of 2010 (aside from a brief respite on Sunday for my delayed New Years celebration) I have been committed to a detox of mammoth proportions. No alcohol, no carbs, NO COFFEE, plenty of salad and veggies and more than my fair share of herbal tea.
Monday: I ate stupidly-good-for-you-but-tastes-a-bit-rank yoghurt for breakfast, with some delightfully bland green tea. Followed by a rocket and wall nut salad for dinner, and some cottage cheese on ryvita for dinner.
Tuesday: Fruit salad and green tea. Dull. Superfood salad from pret for lunch. At Cirque Du Soleil for the evening, no time for foodage since it goes on so long!
Wednesday: Dull yoghurt. Off to the shire for the afternoon for my Nan’s 80th birthday, there is a mocha creme brulee on the menu! Settle for a goats cheese and rocket starter and strange tomato-esque tartlette. On the way back to Londinium, grab a pomegranate salad from M&S.
Today: Fruit again and exciting blueberry and apple tea. ‘New year new you’ Covent Garden soup (less than 85 calories simply because there’s nothing IN IT), carrot sticks and hummus. Veggie sausages and green beans for dinner.
OH MY GOD I NEED COFFEE. I AM DYING WITHOUT COFFEE.
You know, it’s terrifyingly enlightening, doing a detox. For the last two days, I have been absolutely knackered, and today I’ve been suffering with the worst headache I have ever had. I’ve not managed to get out of bed before 7am even once since that first day back at work. I’m peeing every ten seconds because I’m drinking so much bloody tea to try and quench the desperate need for coffee.
It’s only a month, how hard can it be, right? The answer: hard. Very very hard. Near impossible, when you work as many hours, and have as much caffeine floating around your system as I do, the withdrawal is fucking ridiculous.
I am determined to see it through, it’s one of my resolutions after all. But I would highly recommend steering well clear of Ritzi this month. She’s mighty tetchy.
Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee.
That is all.
