1) I have a hangover roughly the size and weight of China
2) I didn’t make it to the gym this morning
3) My bank account is quivering in fear
Yes, Eton Boy has landed in a blaze of glory. Frankly, the French economy should be worried now that it doesn’t have EB around to keep it afloat any longer.
We’d been considering a cozy soho pizza evening – copious amounts of red wine and carbs as standard – but then in an unprecedented act, the fecking sun only came out didn’t it? So we did what any self respecting Londoners with access to free tickets to everything would do, and dragged ourselves all the way out to the middle of nowhere (read: Kew Gardens) and sat on the grass, downed three bottles of rather decent white wine and nibbled on some gourmet cheeses to a backdrop of Tim Minchin singing songs about gingers.
I can hereby declare that it was a damn near perfect way to spend an evening.
As we chillaxed in the early evening sunshine (it’s like EB actually controls the elements with the unnecessary brightness of his crisp white jeans) we lamented last summer, hazy nights of drunken debauchery with Dawson’s Creek, afternoons at posh country clubs (they LOVE me there and don’t want to kick me and my flip flops out AT ALL) and questionable theatre, and EB dangled the carrot of an equally alcoholic 2012 summer before me.
‘But I go to bed early and go to the gym at 6am now!’ I protesteth.
‘Well,’ EB replies with a knowing smirk. ‘We’ll have to do something about that, won’t we?’ Smug little get.
I refuse to give up my healthy new lifestyle. Frankly, I like my size 10 status, and my gym instructors are too darn attractive to miss out on, but I’m clearly going to have to do something about my boozing stamina, because after an evening trying to keep up with a man who’s spent the last year in Paris? Frankly, I feel like I have actually died, been buried, and then dug up again and propped up at my desk and forced to give a shit about the West End.
And I’ve just remembered putting a lunch date in the diary for next week.
Lord help me.