I just turned on the television and saw TVboy’s ugly mug. Fucking hell. That’s not what you want on a sober Saturday night in January.
Twice in the last week, First has attempted to add me on facebook. I keep denying but can’t seem to bring myself to block him.
I did, however, just write a new beginning for my book.
Ying Yang.
RitziCx
Oh yes! One year on from being dumped unceremoniously in a Weatherspoons on my round, and these can STILL happen!
Allow me to set the scene; it’s early November, a year on from the break up, and with a high flying job, a new flat, fabulous hair and half a stone lighter, the last thing on my mind is that straggly haired, drug addled monkey man. Right?
So, stumbling around half asleep at 6.30am (pre-coffee), I sit on my couch (ready to become post-coffee), and squirm around a bit until I find my blackberry. I’m sitting on it of course. Imagine my surprise when I look at my phone to find it has not only dialledTVboy, but he has picked up! At 6.30am! OH MY GOOD GOD!
So I do what any self respecting woman would do… and switch my phone off until I get to work.
Upon closer inspection while downing my third cup of coffee around 10.30am, I dare to investigate how this horrific event could have occurred. TVboy, like all of my exes, was deleted from my contacts after the breakup (though not before someone convinced me it was a really good idea to let her call him in the middle of the night pretending to be a chinese take away… oh yeah… that happened), so how did my EVIL blackberry accidentally dial him?
A word to the wise, slighted ladies. Blackberrys may delete contacts, but that does not automatically remove them from SPEED DIAL.
Fuckedy fuck.
Anyhoo, day continues, and at 11.30am I am rushing about, late for a meeting – as usual. I’m dashing down the corridor, and bump into an attractive yet completely bent bloke on my way. I shout an apology over my shoulder, dive into the meeting room before the door closes, and only then do I look at my phone. Which has called TVboy. Again.
ARGH!
Call cancelled. Phone off. Fight the temptation to throw it across the room. Do not turn it on again until I’m safely tucked up in bed and I’m sure he’s too stoned to dial to see what I want.
Oh. My. God.
Now, I have removed the speed dial, and deleted his number from the ‘recently dialled’ list, so there is NO TRACE of TVboy on my phone. None whatsoever. Too little too late methinks!
You realise what this looks like, yes? A year on from the hideous dumping, it looks like I have been moping around for a year, PINING for the weasely bastard, and on the anniversary of our break up this crazy woman phones at ridiculous times, desperate to get back together.
Irony is a bitch sometimes.
RitziCx
I’m sat on my deck eating toast and blueberry jam, with a glass of Tropicana ruby breakfast on one side and a ridiculously strong black coffee on the other, and the sun is SHINING.
Life is good.
ALthough, admittedly, I am feeling a tad rough today after about a bottle and a half of red last night. After work last night… after a horrendously crap week, but let’s not go into that… I tagged along to Century with a couple of the guys from work and the lovely bloke who was responsible for my first O2 box culture experience at Julie Andrews the other week. In fact, for the first half hour of our evening the guy did nothing but apologise for it! Honestly, I had free wine and a comfy couch… I didn’t mind that Julie Andrews was crap!
So anyway, Century. For those who ain’t Shaftesbury Avenue savvy, I should explain. Century is a magical haven that hides behind a cleverly concealed secret door on Shaftesbury Ave, a five floored wonder of a members bar, with a roof terrace that I love so much I have occasionally dreamt about it.
Thing is, I haven’t been there for about 6 months, because it was a place that TVboy and I used to frequent rather often. After he unceremoniously dumped me in a Weatherspoons… quite frankly I instantly returned to the sort of riff raff they don’t let in Century.
That’s all changed now though! What’s that? Ritzi’s got a fabulous job now and can pretty much swan into any members bar in the West End of my own volition? Eat that TVboy.
I’m going to try and actually get some blogging done this weekend… I’ve been doing so much that I don’t have time to write about it! What’s the use in that? Might as well have not happened!
Back to coffee and toast… sunshine on the common with Irish later, hopefully I’ll manage to tear myself away from this sunny decking long enough to shower away this hideous hangover.
Much love folks,
RitziCx
Okay, so I am actually getting over TVboy. However, I defy anyone to not get a little bit teary when faced with the following situation.
So on Sunday, I noticed that he’d updated his twitter account with pictures of a weekend away in France, and tagged some girl in his post saying that they were on their way back from Paris.
Then, a few days later a decidedly famous person TVboy works with updated his twitter saying that he was enjoying dinner with TVboy ‘AND HIS LOVELY GIRLFRIEND’.
It’s been just over 2 months, and although I’m not dating anyone (having made a concious decision to get my kicks with the cream of London’s West End first) at the moment, the real kick in the teeth is that one of the things he said when we broke up was that he wanted to be single for a while, and I quote ‘I’m not even thinking about dating right now.’ Ahem. Sounds like you are to me! Twat. Another thing that bugged me is that when wewere together I was never even mentioned in so much as a status update, let alone tagged.
So I have decided to remind myself of all the things that he used to do that bugged me. I think it’s necessary. It’s also probably going to be quite long so be warned.
1) He did A LOT of drugs. Only mildly brain numbing types, but still. It bugged me because I used to do that when I was a teenager, but I grew out of it like normal people do.
2) He definitely loved his boss (male) more than me. The whole ‘I can’t turn my phone off when we’re out having dinner in case my boss calls because it’s a work phone’ argument only works so far. Considering I used to call plenty of times and his phone would be off for an entire weekend, I’m thinking that was a bit of an unfounded excuse.
3) He snores. Like roadworks are going on IN THE BED.
4) He picks his nose IN HIS SLEEP. That’s subconcious grossness everyone.
5) He was only ever decent in bed if he’d smoked a lot of weed, the rest of the time he came in like 20 seconds.
6) He’s 5ft 9. If I wear heels I’m the same height, if not bigger than him.
7) He made me feel bad about buying Vogue and other such magazines, and I evendressed down when I was around him because he complained that he never saw me in jeans. Oh, I’m sorry for making an effort with my appearance!
8) He never EVER came with me to see any of the shows that my company has on in town, and only came to see one musical ever, because his boss told him he would like it.
9) I spent £100 on tickets for a comedy show in town and he cancelled because of work, then the week before we were due to go again (after I went to the box office and rescheduled it to suit him) he broke up with me.
10) He guilt tripped me into staying home on a weekend only so I could sit and look bored while he watched Xfactor religiously, not even breaking the saturday night cycle once, even though he has catch up TV!
11) He likes Xfactor.
12) He CONSTANTLY asked me if I could just ‘stop being a vegetarian’ to make life easier.
13) He thought he was smarter than me because he’d been to University, yet he’s never read a book with more than 100 pages in his life. He always acted as though I was a bit stupid. And I’m not.
14) He never came to any of my gigs, or any of the 3 shows I produced while we were together.
15) I quit my second job (which I only kept because I really liked it and loved the people there) because he complained that he only ever saw me on Sundays, and then we only saw each other one extra day a week (on Saturdays… when he was more concerned with Cheryl Cole.)
16) He didn’t like my friends because most of them work in theatre.
17) If ever I raised any issues with our relationship, he made me feel like I was being stupid and girly. Turns out I wasn’t – there were issues. Obviously. Git.
18) He belittled all the TV shows I like, even though the highlight of his week, as I may have mentioned, was Xfactor.
19) His spunk really did not taste very nice.
20) new one On our first date he bragged about all the exclusive places he would be able to get us into and the fanciest we went to was the Ivy. For lunch. Which I booked. The regular routine was takeout pizza or pasta (because it’s the only vegetarian thing he could stand) and as you may have gathered by now I’m not so hot on the carbs.
Phew. That’s all I have for now, but I’ll be adding to it throughout the day as I remember annoying habits no doubt. Any TVboy hating comments will be much appreciated.
Much love,
RitziCx
